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15 Funny Things You Should Avoid in Classroom

AZ — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 10:00:08 +0000

Fifteen things you should not do in the classroom

It’s great being a student. The school can be fun, but also a lot of hard work. You want to do well in school. This is no time to Goof off and act like a fool. However, some students do not know how to behave. These are the things for fifteen years not to do or have in the classroom:

1. Do not fall asleep in class. The next dream that you have to be in the principal’s office.
2. Do not swear or yell obscenities. Remember: You want to get at least a B in his class and not a degree.
3. Do not wear low cut tank tops, or hats in the classroom. If it looks bad or wrong, it probably is.
4. Do not use nose rings or any other appropriate body sharps. If you can not pass the metal detector does not go to school.
5. No video games, cell phones, MP3 players or other electronic devices designed to drive your teacher crazy. So call me old-fashioned. You can make your work with an abacus. Eventually, you will be able to do some work on computers. Our teams are only ten years.
6. No spit balls and throwing decisions across the classroom. You know you is you are doing. Now stop it!
7. No heavy breathing in the classroom. This is allowed only if you have an asthmatic condition. Make sure you bring a note from your doctor.
8. They do not sing in the classroom. Leave for the choir. Screeching is not the same as speaking.
9. Do not cheat on their tests. Remember: I have eyes in the back of the head. By the way, I’m secretly an alien. If I catch cheating, he vaporized.
10. No kissing, hugging or kissing in the classroom. I just want to see you kiss is your final exam.
11. Absolutely not fart in the classroom. I have a smell detector. If you pass the gas will be sent out of class.
12. Do not pick your nose in the classroom. Stay home if you have a cold. I’m not doing a conference on Boogertown.
13. Do not leave your desk a disaster or in the soil around a disaster. Remember: If your desk is not clean, I will be average. We serve an arrest of an hour with a server.
14. Do not eat in the classroom. You can wait until lunchtime. If I see a drink in his mouth, spat. Also, do not chew gum in class. If I see gum blowing, the day is done in the classroom.
15. Do not hit or push anyone into the classroom. If you do not like someone in the class, only pretend. I see a lot of smiles and shining faces. Make your teacher happy so you can retire with his health intact.

Psychology students are more funny than others [Clever]

AZ — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 06:06:39 +0000

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a review of a final question, after a semester dealing with a wide range of topics.

The class was already seated and ready for when the professor took his chair, slumped on his desk and wrote on the board: “Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist.”

Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled with a furious manner. Some students wrote over 30 pages in an hour of trying to disprove the existence of the chair. A member of the class however, got up and finished in less than a minute.

Weeks later, when the notes were issued, the rest of the group wondered how he could have got one thing “A”, when he had written to all. His response was two words:

“What chair?”

15 Funny Quotes in Music Class from Students [Funny]

AZ — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 06:14:29 +0000

Here are some funny quotes from students on music exams:

01 – The principal singer of nineteenth century opera was called pre-Madonna.

02 – Gregorian chant has no music, just singers singing the same lines.

03 – Sherbet composed the Unfinished Symphony.

04 – All female parts were sung by castrati. We don’t know exactly what they sounded like because there are no known descendants.

05 – Young scholars have expressed their rapture for the Bronze Lullaby, the Taco Bell Cannon, Beethoven’s Erotica, Tchaikovsky Cracknutter Suite, and Gershwin’s Rap City in Blue.

06 – Music sung by two people at the same time is called a duel; if they sing without music it is called Acapulco.

07 – A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals.

08 – Contralto is a low sort of music that only ladies sing.

09 – Probably the most marvelous fugue was the one between the Hatfields and the McCoys.

10 – A harp is a nude piano.

11 – Refrain means don’t do it. A refrain in music is the part you’d better not try to sing.

12 – I know what a sextet is but I’d rather not say.

13 – My favorite composer was Opus. Agnus Dei was a woman composer famous for her church music.

14 – Johann Sebastian Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic.

15 – Rock Monanoff was a famous post-romantic composer of piano concerti.

12 Q&A from Real Students [Funny]

AZ — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 06:25:42 +0000

1. What happens to your body as you age?
When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

2. What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

3. What is artificial insemination?
When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow.

4. How can you delay milk turning sour?
Keep it in the cow.

5. How are the main parts of the body categorized?
The body is consisted into three parts – the brainium, the borax the abdominal cavity. The branium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A,E,I,O and U.

6. What is the Fibula?
A small lie.

7. What does “varicose” mean?
Nearby.

8. What is the most common form of birth control?
Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.

9. Give the meaning of the term “Caesarean Section.”
The caesarean section is a district in Rome.

10. What is a seizure?
A Roman emperor.

11. What is a terminal illness?
When you are sick at the airport

12. Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and they look like umbrellas.

Medical Students Life Song (Funny)

AZ — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 07:08:23 +0000

A music video describing the life of a medical student Funny Video.

The most time consuming and hardest schooling around is probably the Medical School in which you spend like eight or more years of your life. Medical students always seem to feel that they need to study constantly, but if you want to stay sane, you need to take a break sometimes. Watch this funny video of medical students how they snatched some time out of their busy routines and did this hilarious thing.

5 Reasons to Bunk Your Class [Funny]

AZ — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 08:39:28 +0000

Although it sounds bad, but there are always some reasons. Bunking a class(es) can actually improve your performance. Here are 5 reasons on why should break the rule and go out, when you are not supposed to go.

1 – Independence
An independent person can only lead a successful life. If he/she has independent ideas and thinking it will become easier for him to take decisions in future.

2 – Improved academics performance
If you bunk your class, you won’t know how a particular problem has been solved, or how a particular thing works. So what if you were absent. You will spend more time with the books and hence use your brains. So you are not just a robot.

3 – Good relationship with teachers
When you bunk, you don’t get attendance. So you go up to your teachers for some help (jugaad). So the harmony between the teacher and the student increases

4 – More Fun
The most obvious reason is fun. Increase your awareness by spending quality time with your friends.

5 – Get Peace
Yes,you get peace. The cacophonous class can make you distasteful and hence make you more irritable. So you get what the world wants, “peace “

Pakistani Student Exchange Spoof [Funny]

AZ — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 06:16:55 +0000

A Funny spoof about A Pakistani exchange student visits his American host family upon arrival at the airport. Guys don not take it serious. Its just a fun. Hope you understand

50 Fun things for professors to do on the first day of class [Funny]

AZ — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 08:52:11 +0000

1. Wear a hood with one eye hole. Periodically make strange gurgling noises.

2. After confirming everyone’s names on the roll, thank the class for attending “Advanced Astrodynamics 690″ and mention that yesterday was the last day to drop.

3. After turning on the overhead projector, clutch your chest and scream “MY PACEMAKER!”

4. wear a pointed Kaiser helmet and a monocle and carry a riding crop.

5. Gradually speak softer and softer and then suddenly point to a student and scream “YOU! WHAT DID I JUST SAY?”

6. Deliver your lecture through a hand puppet. If a student asks you a question directly, say in a high-pitched voice, “The Professor can’t hear you, you’ll have to ask ‘me’, Winky Willy.”

7. If someone asks a question, walk silently over to their seat, hand them your piece of chalk, and ask, “Would YOU like to give the lecture, Mr. Smartypants?”

8. Pick out random students, ask them questions, and time their responses with a stop watch. Record their times in you grade book while muttering “tsk, tsk.”

9. Ask students to call you “Tinkerbell” or “Surfin’ Bird.”

10. Stop in mid-lecture, frown for a moment, and then ask the class whether your butt looks fat.

11. Play “Kumbaya” on the banjo.

12. Show a video on medieval torture implements to your calculus class. Giggle throughout it.

13. Announce “you’ll need this,” and write the suicide prevention hotline number on the board.

14. Wear mirrored sunglasses and speak only in Turkish. Ignore all questions.

15. Start the lecture by dancing and lip-synching to James Brown’s “Sex Machine.”

16. Ask occasional questions, but mutter “as if you gibbering simps would know” and move on before anyone can answer.

17. Ask the class to read Jenkins through Johnson of the local phone book by the next lecture. Vaguely imply that there will be a quiz.

18. Have one of your graduate students sprinkle flower petals ahead of you as you pace back and forth.

19. Address students as “worm.”
20. Announce to students that their entire grades will be based on a single-question oral final exam. Imply that this could happen at any moment.

21. Turn off the lights, play a tape of crickets chirping, and begin singing spirituals.

22. Ask for a volunteer for a demonstration. Ask them to fill out a waiver as you put on a lead apron and light a blowtorch.

23. Point the overhead projector at the class. Demand each student’s name, rank, and serial number.

24. Begin class by smashing the neck off a bottle of vodka, and announce that the lecture’s over when the bottle’s done.

25. Have a band waiting in the corner of the room. When anyone asks a question, have the band start playing and sing an Elvis song.

26. Every so often, freeze in mid sentence and stare off into space for several minutes. After a long, awkward silence, resume your sentence and proceed normally.

27. Wear a “virtual reality” helmet and strange gloves. When someone asks a question, turn in their direction and make throttling motions with your hands.

28. Mention in passing that you’re wearing rubber underwear.

29. Growl constantly and address students as “matey.”

30. Devote your math lecture to free verse about your favorite numbers and ask students to “sit back and groove.”

31. Announce that last year’s students have almost finished their class projects.

32. Inform your English class that they need to know Fortran and code all their essays. Deliver a lecture on output format statements.

33. Bring a small dog to class. Tell the class he’s named “Boogers McGee” and is your “mascot.” Whenever someone asks a question, walk over to the dog and ask it, “What’ll be, McGee?”

34. Wear a feather boa and ask students to call you “Snuggles.”

35. Tell your math students that they must do all their work in a base 11 number system. use a complicated symbol you’ve named after yourself in place of the number 10 and threaten to fail students who don’t use it.

36. Claim to be a chicken. Squat, cluck, and produce eggs at irregular intervals.

37. Bring a CPR dummy to class and announce that it will be the teaching assistant for the semester. Assign it an office and office hours.

38. Have a grad student in a black beret pluck at the bass while you lecture.

39. Sprint from the room in a panic if you hear sirens outside.

40. Give an opening monologue. Take two minute “commercial breaks” every ten minutes.

41. Tell students that you’ll fail them if they cheat on exams or “fake the funk.”

42. Announce that you need to deliver two lectures that day, and deliver them in rapid-fire auctioneer style.

43. Pass out dental floss to students floss to students and devote the lecture to oral hygiene.

44. Announce that the entire 32-volume Encyclopedia Britannica will be required reading for you class. Assign a report on Volume 1, Aardvark through Armenia, for next class.

45. Ask students to list their favorite show tunes on a sign-up sheet. Criticize their choices and make notes in you grade book.

46. Sneeze on students in the front row and wipe your nose on your tie.

47. Warn students that they should being a snack lunch to exams.

48. Refer frequently to students who died while taking your class.

49. Show up to lecture in a ventilated clean suit. Advise students to keep their distance for their own safety and mutter something about “that bug I picked up in the field.”

50. Jog into class, rip the textbook in half, and scream, “Are you pumped? ARE YOU PUMPED? I CAN’T HEEEEEAR YOU!”

Ever Wonder How Students Spend 365 Days In A Year???

AZ — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 07:52:48 +0000

It’s not the fault of the student if
he fails, because the year ONLY
has 365′ days

Typical academic year for a student:

1. Sundays-52, Sundays in a year,
you know Sundays are for rest. Days left 313.

2. Summer holidays-50 where weather
is very hot and difficult to study. Days left 263.

3. 8 hours daily sleep- 130 days GONE.
Days left 141.

4. 1 hour for daily playing-
(good for health) means 15 days. Days left 126.

5. 2 hours daily for food &
other delicacies (chewing
properly & swallowing)- means 30days.
Days left 96.

6. 1 hour for talking
(man is a social animal)-means
15 days. days left 81.

7. Exam days- per year at least
35 days. Days left 46.

8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival
(holidays)-40 days.Balance 6 days.

9. For sickness- at least 3 days.
Remaining days=3.

10. Movies and functions -
at least 2 days. 1 day left.

11. That 1 day is your birthday.
How can you study on that day??????!!! !!!!!!!
Balance = 0

“How can a student pass ??”

Most Funniest Feedback Comments From Students To Teacher [Damn Funny]

AZ — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 09:14:20 +0000

Damn Funny Survey Feedback Video

I know how we students comments on Lecture copies for teachers. Really Cool Video.The Video is about students Feedback to lecturer. Lecturer is showing these funny comments to his students. This is the most hilarious video i have seen. Please say your comments.

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