Fifteen things you should not do in the classroom

It’s great being a student. The school can be fun, but also a lot of hard work. You want to do well in school. This is no time to Goof off and act like a fool. However, some students do not know how to behave. These are the things for fifteen years not to do or have in the classroom:

1. Do not fall asleep in class. The next dream that you have to be in the principal’s office.
2. Do not swear or yell obscenities. Remember: You want to get at least a B in his class and not a degree.
3. Do not wear low cut tank tops, or hats in the classroom. If it looks bad or wrong, it probably is.
4. Do not use nose rings or any other appropriate body sharps. If you can not pass the metal detector does not go to school.
5. No video games, cell phones, MP3 players or other electronic devices designed to drive your teacher crazy. So call me old-fashioned. You can make your work with an abacus. Eventually, you will be able to do some work on computers. Our teams are only ten years.
6. No spit balls and throwing decisions across the classroom. You know you is you are doing. Now stop it!
7. No heavy breathing in the classroom. This is allowed only if you have an asthmatic condition. Make sure you bring a note from your doctor.
8. They do not sing in the classroom. Leave for the choir. Screeching is not the same as speaking.
9. Do not cheat on their tests. Remember: I have eyes in the back of the head. By the way, I’m secretly an alien. If I catch cheating, he vaporized.
10. No kissing, hugging or kissing in the classroom. I just want to see you kiss is your final exam.
11. Absolutely not fart in the classroom. I have a smell detector. If you pass the gas will be sent out of class.
12. Do not pick your nose in the classroom. Stay home if you have a cold. I’m not doing a conference on Boogertown.
13. Do not leave your desk a disaster or in the soil around a disaster. Remember: If your desk is not clean, I will be average. We serve an arrest of an hour with a server.
14. Do not eat in the classroom. You can wait until lunchtime. If I see a drink in his mouth, spat. Also, do not chew gum in class. If I see gum blowing, the day is done in the classroom.
15. Do not hit or push anyone into the classroom. If you do not like someone in the class, only pretend. I see a lot of smiles and shining faces. Make your teacher happy so you can retire with his health intact.

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1 – Bring a Blowhorn
Use it when you ask or answer a question

2 – Hire a Video Crew to come to the Class.
If asked about it, say that you have to tape the lecture for a friend.

3 – When the professor asks a question, raise your hand
If the professor calls on you, point to someone in the next row and say “He Knows.” Pick a different person each time.

4 – Bring a typewriter.
Use it to take notes

5 – Get up to go to the bathroom five or six times during the class.
Change clothes every time.

6 – Pretend to be asleep until five minutes before the end of class.
Then wake up and explain that you missed the lecture, and ask the professor to summarize
what he/she talked about.

7 – Bring a tape player and a tape of a thunderstorm.
Keep it hidden. Sometime during the lecture, start the tape, stand up, claim that the professor has angered the gods and leave. Watch to see how many students follow you after the tape starts playing.

8 – Claim that you are the new student teacher.
and that you are to give the lecture for that class. If the professor agrees, lecture on a subject completely
opposite the to subject of the class. If the professor objects, say that the students should have a wide range of knowledge.

9 – Ask questions in a foreign language you know the professor doesn’t know.
Act angry when he/she doesn’t understand you.

10 – Bring a tape player and a tape of the school bell. Play it every 15 minutes.

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